Letter from this helpless dad to his understanding daughter

Dear Deivanai,

I’m writing this letter with my eyes filled with tears. After all, I’m a human.

I know I can face anything/anyone but you.

Myself and mom will adapt to this change. As a 4-year-old, Nachu is so little to quite understand what’s happening. But as an 8-year-old, I know it will be hard for you to digest this news that we are going to India for good.

Since the day I landed in the US, I knew that we are going to be back to India one day. I never thought that I belonged here.

Please forgive me dear, everything happened in a tick. Unfortunately, we are unable to extend our stay in the US. I know that you will say ‘NO’. I understand that you will have dilemma choosing between your father and your country. But please remember that we do not have a choice.

We saw and admired your country until now. And it’s now that time to see and admire our (dad and mom’s) country.

Be assured that I’ll make every effort to make this transition smooth for you. You know I’ll walk with you in every step. I request you to understand the situation.

One more thing that I want to make it clear to you. “Where you study” is less significant. What matters most is “what you learn” & “how you learn”. For instance, studying chess from a Grand Master doesn’t make you a great chess player. The important thing is “what you learn” & “how you learn” from that exposure. You will certainly be a great player when you do it with all your heart regardless of where/whom you learn from.

The situation and surrounding never gave me a chance to be my true self. But trust me, wherever we are, you have the complete liberty to choose what you want to do in your life. I’m sure that it will pave way for happiness and the journey will make you believe that you are successful. I have never given you any gifts. But remember, this liberty is a priceless greatest gift that this dad gives you for lifetime.

You have asked me many times “what is success?” I’ll better rephrase the question as “what is being successful?”

Success to me is not how much you have in your bank account. Bill Gates has billions in his kitty and may still feel unhappy. You may just have thousands in your bank account and still be happy with it. Hence, bank balance doesn’t matter to this dad. There are n number of ways to earn money. But what really matters to me is you should be able to make a living out of what you earn and be happy with what you do and most importantly whatever you do, you will have to do it with all your heart. I would want you to try and fail rather than not trying at all. I believe that is what will make you strong, confident, happy & successful and this is how your dad defines “being successful”.

To live life is so simple. Avoid unnecessary complications and useless peer & societal pressure.

I hope you are on my side. I look forward to your kiss which will give me utmost strength to face any challenges in our lives.

Thank you, sweetheart!

Yours helpless dad,

Kannappan

Post script:

I meant helpless not in terms of providing/taking care of her, rather helpless in terms of not being able to continue living in the United States for her sake. Maybe in other words, I was selfish. I think I have given respect/importance to my own happiness more than hers.

Being in the US for the last ten years, there are many things that stop me from visiting India frequently - finance, distance, job, immigration issues, etc.

I think, her next 10 years in India will give her sufficient time to understand our culture, people and diversity. After when, she can decide for herself whether she wants to settle in India or the US. 

Apple & Orange comparison:

I know an apple cannot be compared to an orange. However, I have to introduce both apple and orange to her. I will leave it to her to pick one. But, I will definitely regret if I didn't introduce both of them to her at the first place.

Food psychology that taught me how easily food choices and life choices can be compared.